Who Am I (April 29-30)

Quarantine is a great time for deep thinking. Here’s the most basic question: Who Am I? I guess the old proverb “a man is known by his friends” comes to mind when I think of this. So, who do I spend most of my time with? If you want the short answer, my family. Basically my brother, my mother and my father. And I guess they have a pretty big impact on my life. My brother is there simply to test me. Sometimes it seems as if his sole mission in life is to destroy me. Other times he is just there to miserably fail at being the comic relief in the family. I must say, occasionally he nails it, but he often gets redundant and just plum annoying. Yet there are those times when he is my number one supporter. And this is why he is my test. Because he can be so many different things, like batman then ice-batman, then blue batman, then heat batman. As you can tell, he likes batman. But that meager attempt at pulling myself out of the spotlight didn’t fool anyone. He is my test because I have to constantly read him, process what that means, and act accordingly. Does that mean I don’t have some fun once in a while? No. Like when he is mad about something and I stare at him across the dinner table. He gets so irritated, but he can’t do anything because our parents are right there. Thank goodness he can’t read me that well. My mother and my father dictate my life, so not a lot there I can talk about. 

It is also true that we look up to our role models and tend to be like them. So… let’s look at mine. Note: these are not in any particular order.

  1. Oma 
    1. She never swears unless it is in a dire situation.
    2. When she wants something done it is done. No question asked. My grandfather asked what was in the bag. He is no longer here. Kidding, of course.
  2. Parents
    1. Kinda get taken for granted, but do they love me less? Not really.

You can tell a lot about a person by the media they enjoy. So. . . top five books and movies! Top five books would have to be the Harry Potter series, the Red Queen series, the Twilight series, and Ninth House. What does this say? This basically says I love fantasy and fantasy related subjects. But this could be taken further to say that I like to hope. I like to dream. I like to believe that there is something more. If I was a psychologist I would draw some weird conclusion that oddly makes sense, but since I am not, that’s as far as it goes. Much the same thing with tv shows/movies. The top five for those being Legacies, The Good Witch, Supergirl, The Good Place, and Aladdin. Case in point all of these are fantasy (with one sci-fi mixed in there) and therefore supports the above conclusion that I like to hope, dream, and believe there is something more.

What could I change about myself? This question is actually pretty deep. If we know what we want to change, then it tells us something more than what we are. I think that I would change my vertedness. I tend to be an introvert, and I think that life would be so much easier if I wasn’t shy. So I think that I would change from an introvert to an extrovert. What does this say about me though? I think that it says that I love people and I love supporting others. But I am just too shy to do that. I would rather sit and watch people then mingle, because I just feel overwhelmed. That wraps up my deep dive of Who Am I?

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

There are 52 days until june 19. (That’s when we are finished with school, right?) There are five days until my brother’s birthday.

Math right now is pretty easy. We are supposed to do a certain lesson a week. Since I had to do those lessons before online learning started, I really just have to check the answers, and submit them.

I hate how disappointing movies are if you’ve already read the book. Especially when the characters have lots of emotions and feelings and the actor is really dry. I won’t say any names because everyone has different opinions. I also hate how most dog movies are so sad. I mean, who wants to be saddened.

Whenever I feel bored or sad (not the same thing, I know), I like to think about where I want to go in life. In short, I think about what I want to be when I grow up. This question in particular annoys me, because I just don’t quite know. If you asked me a year ago, I would have said, “I dunno, teacher I guess?”  If you had asked me six months ago, I would have shrugged and thought about being a biologist/botanist. Now I’m onto forensic scientist, but who knows how long that will last. I think that I want to live in Canada. Somewhere near Victoria. Definitely outside of the city, but just close enough that I’m too far out there. Kind of like Ridgefield and Portland. 

Quote of the Day:

“And there’s nothing wrong with being a lizard either. Unless you were born to be a hawk.”

Leigh Bardugo, Shadow and Bone

Monday, April 27, 2020

I have been playing around a lot with my website. But, I think I have finally gotten it to a point where it feels good. I mean, getting the themes right. Every time I change the theme, I have to reconfigure the website so that it flows better. However, I did figure out how to make it seem like I posted something a while ago. So, in cases like when I forget to post my journal entry, I can post it yesterday, from today! The problem with changing my theme so much, is that eventually you have just waaaay too many downloaded. So, there are a few that I like, and can always change to, so I didn’t remove them. I have found splitting wood to be three things. 1) A form of exercise, 2) A therapeutic thing to do, and 3) A means of getting yourself out of doing other chores. I actually do not mind this whole quarantine thing. I normally don’t lead a very social life. In fact, this routine is very close to that of my normal summer life. The only difference is the learning we have to do. For all the classes, save science, the workload is pretty minimal. Science is just one of those classes, where there is a lot of stuff to cover. Band is downright boring. If I wanted to play an instrument by myself, I wouldn’t have signed up for band. I started watching legacies, because Netflix recommended it to me. The characters seemed really well developed and seemed to have a backstory. So, I did some research. It is actually a sequel series to The Vampire Diaries. So, now I have a lot of things to watch. I seem to go through phases where I have like nothing to watch and then I have a lot to watch. The same applies to reading. Have you ever noticed that readers congratulate themselves for finishing a book by buying more books? It just seems weird, like having lunch for breakfast. While I was down in the forest today, I couldn’t help but overhear the telltale buzz of bees. I didn’t see them along the trails. But they are down there somewhere, waiting for the chance to sting. That seemed to conclude the entry in a seemingly ominous tone.

Friday, April 24, 2020

I can’t wait for some more sunny weather. It didn’t rain that much today, but I am ready for some unovercast skies. I think that eventually schools will be taught by robots. I mean, think about it: we already are starting to do things like i-Ready. Things like that are starting to push us toward less teacher interaction, and more technological interaction. However, while the schools will be taught by robots, the punishment system still needs to be run by humans. This is simply because no robot can fully replicate human emotions. Since every case is different, you can’t just have a basic this bad deed = this punishment. You have to include the external factors. I, personally, find it easier to learn when I can ask for clarification. Watching a video doesn’t always help me learn things. So, yes schools may very well be heading to a point where they will be taught by robots. However, punishment must be carried out by a human. And while this may be coming, I am not entirely looking forward to it.


Featured Image: Photo by Jessica Lewis on Unsplash

Thursday, April 23, 2020

I was listening to my brother and my mom proofread his story for class. Oh my gosh I am so glad i learned how to elaborate on things. His story was like First we did this, then we did that, then this happened, then we solved the problem, then it happened again, then it was all over and we could all sleep. If you start at one of my grandparents houses and you take a certain road, you come across an intersection. If you go one way, you hit my other grandparents house, if you go the other way you hit my uncle’s parent’s house. I sincerely think that my brother needs a fidget. He messes with whatever is close by and he can touch whenever he’s working on something. Which, by the way, shouldn’t bother me, but it does because he was literally snapping a crayon until he couldn’t anymore. He was about to grab another but I stopped him just in time before Granny Smith Apples was destroyed. When painting, I go through different phases. Like with the focus and what I am portraying, or how I am portraying it. Whether I use pencil lines in it or whether I like just paint to show. This kind of comes out of nowhere, but I didn’t know there was a Republic of Texas. I also find it rather odd that Great Britain had a female prime minister in the 70’s and we still haven’t had a female president. I mean, back in the 1700’s we were a country with “newfangled” ideas. I really like saying that word. “Newfangled”.

Monday, April 20, 2020

I painted a cute little hedgehog today. My brother got a headache this evening at dinner, again. I’d feel bad for him but this happens at least once every two weeks. He gets a headache, takes an Advil, throws up the Advil, takes a nap for ¾ of an hour and feels fine again. It really is quite annoying and he’s been doing this for the better part of his life. When he doesn’t have food for a while (meaning like three hours which really isn’t that long) and you mix in exercise that’s the result. I have found that I am really into the whole secret society, behind the scenes thing. I guess it started when I read Leigh Bardugo’s The Ninth House. I love that book. This month I have watched The Order and Ares, both Netflix originals. I haven’t watched the last episode of The Order because there is going to be another season, and I am not quite finished with Ares. I am only on like episode four, but I think it is going to be a personal fave. My watch decided that its display wanted to stop working. So, I had to use an older Fitbit Flex 2. I hate it when I try and click the side and then look down to see the time and see five light-dots instead. I have a Charge 2 somewhere, but it isn’t water resistant and therefore doesn’t fit my lifestyle. I went on a three mile bike ride, but I do that a lot so it isn’t big news. I feel like I should write more, but I’m kinda out of ideas. So, I will end us with a quote, “All you children playing with fire, looking surprised when the house burns down” ― Leigh Bardugo, Ninth House