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Who Am I (April 29-30)

Quarantine is a great time for deep thinking. Here’s the most basic question: Who Am I? I guess the old proverb “a man is known by his friends” comes to mind when I think of this. So, who do I spend most of my time with? If you want the short answer, my family. Basically my brother, my mother and my father. And I guess they have a pretty big impact on my life. My brother is there simply to test me. Sometimes it seems as if his sole mission in life is to destroy me. Other times he is just there to miserably fail at being the comic relief in the family. I must say, occasionally he nails it, but he often gets redundant and just plum annoying. Yet there are those times when he is my number one supporter. And this is why he is my test. Because he can be so many different things, like batman then ice-batman, then blue batman, then heat batman. As you can tell, he likes batman. But that meager attempt at pulling myself out of the spotlight didn’t fool anyone. He is my test because I have to constantly read him, process what that means, and act accordingly. Does that mean I don’t have some fun once in a while? No. Like when he is mad about something and I stare at him across the dinner table. He gets so irritated, but he can’t do anything because our parents are right there. Thank goodness he can’t read me that well. My mother and my father dictate my life, so not a lot there I can talk about. 

It is also true that we look up to our role models and tend to be like them. So… let’s look at mine. Note: these are not in any particular order.

  1. Oma 
    1. She never swears unless it is in a dire situation.
    2. When she wants something done it is done. No question asked. My grandfather asked what was in the bag. He is no longer here. Kidding, of course.
  2. Parents
    1. Kinda get taken for granted, but do they love me less? Not really.

You can tell a lot about a person by the media they enjoy. So. . . top five books and movies! Top five books would have to be the Harry Potter series, the Red Queen series, the Twilight series, and Ninth House. What does this say? This basically says I love fantasy and fantasy related subjects. But this could be taken further to say that I like to hope. I like to dream. I like to believe that there is something more. If I was a psychologist I would draw some weird conclusion that oddly makes sense, but since I am not, that’s as far as it goes. Much the same thing with tv shows/movies. The top five for those being Legacies, The Good Witch, Supergirl, The Good Place, and Aladdin. Case in point all of these are fantasy (with one sci-fi mixed in there) and therefore supports the above conclusion that I like to hope, dream, and believe there is something more.

What could I change about myself? This question is actually pretty deep. If we know what we want to change, then it tells us something more than what we are. I think that I would change my vertedness. I tend to be an introvert, and I think that life would be so much easier if I wasn’t shy. So I think that I would change from an introvert to an extrovert. What does this say about me though? I think that it says that I love people and I love supporting others. But I am just too shy to do that. I would rather sit and watch people then mingle, because I just feel overwhelmed. That wraps up my deep dive of Who Am I?

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